Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Margaret Hukill

(From Clark Funeral Home)

Margaret Anna Valentine Hukill, 94, passed into the presence of our Father/Mother God, on March 29, 2018, after a brief illness. She resided at her home with her daughter, Mary Alice Hukill, and her granddaughter, Rachel Valentine Nelson, for the past five years or so, happily surrounded by her dog, Sissy, and cat, Tig, as well as other family pets she loved. 

Margaret was born March 15, 1924 at her family home in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. She is the daughter of Judge William Alfred Valentine and Mary Irene Shoemaker. She is preceded in death by her brothers, William Alfred Valentine Jr. (and spouses Helen and Agnes Valentine), Jonathan Charles Valentine and Mary Emma Valentine Fraley (and spouse Elmer Fraley) She is also preceded in death by her nieces, Nancy Marie (Valentine) Byrne and Mary Louise (Fraley) Piccolotti, and her great nephew, Matthew Fraley. She is survived by her only child, Mary Alice Hukill, but preceded in death by Mary Alice’s father, Robert M. Hukill in 1995. Margaret is survived by three grandchildren: Tia Marie Nelson (25), Shane Odin Nelson (20) and Rachel Valentine Nelson of the home (17).

Margaret grew up in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. She was a beloved tiny sister to her older siblings, was a great student and caring friend, and excelled despite having birth defects which affected the left side of her body. She was a member of Eastern Star, and performed elocution and excelled at public speaking.

Margaret held a B.A. Degree from Cedar Crest College in Allenton, PA. in Drama/English, where she was a high-ranking actress in Shakespearean plays. She went on to earn an M.A. degree from Union Theological Seminary and Columbia University in New York, NY. Later, she continued her graduate studies in the psychology of exceptional children and issues in reading instruction. She was a kindergarten teacher, Director of Christian Education and English teacher at the Milton Hershey School for Orphaned Boys, and a scout leader. Later in life she used these skills to help her grandchildren to become excellent students in the areas of English and reading, and also did tutoring. Healings she received during this period of her life formed the firm foundation she had in her faith in her later years, and are shared in the stories section of this document.

In 1966 the family moved to Manchester, Missouri in St. Louis county so Mary Alice could attend Principia, (a private school for Christian Scientists) and where Robert had been hired as art teacher in the high school. Margaret was active in the Christian Science church and both she and her husband were first readers at the church they attended in Kirkwood, Missouri.

Margaret was a tour guide at the National Museum of Transport in St. Louis county for 9 years, was a substitute teacher and active in school functions. She attended Christian Science training and belonged to an association. Her teacher’s name was Mary B. Darcy. Margaret was a devout Christian Scientist for over 70 years of her life. She had many testimonies, some of which will be found in the story section of this writing. She always looked for the silver lining in all situations, and was an inspiration for many. She was a staunch advocate for animals and worked hard to find “Forever homes” for many that came into her life. She cared deeply for those needing assistance, and did all she could to help them if she felt so inclined. In the early 90’s, Margaret became a caretaker for her older sister, Mary, and they were able to share several years together with some good memories. Margaret also became a Certified Nurses Aid and worked with patients in personal care for 18 years.

Margaret relocated to Neosho, Missouri in 1997. She played a very active role in the lives of her grandchildren and nurtured close relationships with their father’s family as well as her own. She, nor her daughter, were able to build the relationships they wanted between the children and her side of the family as resources went to others. Margaret felt sadness at the distance they were from her family, and hoped to get everyone together. This wish was not fulfilled, but she did all she could to maintain contact in the ways she was able, and “keep the channels of Love open” with all family members, as she said many times. She has always had a close tie to her family, despite distance.

In Neosho, Margaret was very active in Church Women United, and was an active assistant at the First Congregational Church which her family chose to attend, and was a constant source of support to Mary Alice during her time as Christian Education Director, Pastor Tom Thorne and others at the church in any way she could.

Margaret loved studying her Bible (KJV), and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. She enjoyed reading books by Max Lucado and many others. She believed in the power of prayer and was healed of serious illness on several occasions throughout her life, and cases of protection were demonstrated many times. Some can be found in the stories section of this writing.

In 2013, Mary Alice left her position as Water Specialist III with the DNR in St. Louis to become a caretaker for Margaret. She was put on Hospice care, and recovered. She was taken off Hospice, declared a miracle by the Freeman staff, and given a new walker. It was a great blessing to have Mary Alice back with Margaret, as she was also able to be available to her children which she prayed for constantly. Margaret formed a small company to facilitate training, and became a vendor of the state, allowing Mary Alice to teach operators and increase her income. A company in Hawaii offered a contract and renewed it twice, allowing Margaret to accompany Mary Alice on training trips to Oahu 3 times in the past 2 years. Margaret very much enjoyed her library card in Kapolei, as she did in Neosho. She also traversed the state of Missouri in the Fall of 2017 in the same capacity, and read constantly regardless of her location. She also enjoyed going outside in nice weather, eating outside, and enjoying the home gardens and community parks.

Margaret was born at home. She was much younger than her siblings, her closest being her sister, Mary, who was 16 years old. Their mother had been in a carriage accident in the past and it caused my mother to have a very difficult birth, requiring forceps, and causing her left side to be of little use to her. The nurse came from the room after my mom was finally delivered after a couple days of labor, stating, “Mamie’s living but the baby is dead.” My mom was carried on a pillow due to severe seizures and baptized in the bathroom sink. Despite the odds, she survived. (Her mother continued gardening, which I emulate, and Mom’s sister, Mary, took care of her much of the time. They became very close and her sister Mary is like another mother to me. I miss her very much!) Someday I hope to meet my grandma. She died 9 years before I was born. I have her gardening books, which I treasure. When my mom was born, her mother said to her father, “I gave you a grand baby, so why don’t you get me a Baby Grand?” He did and it was a beautiful Steinway and Sons. My mom had to sell it and it was at a great loss. Much value had been lost in a few years due to the housing market and the advances in technology. It was sent to Mexico to be re-furbished. Her brother Bill, and my father played that piano very well. My heart is still broken in that direction.

Margaret became a serious student of Christian Science before I was born. She developed Rheumatoid Arthritis and her family pressed her to seek medical help when I was about 2 years old. She was unable to open car doors or walk up stairs. The doctors took my dad aside and told him she would be in a wheelchair for life and to help her “learn to live with it.” My first memories of her were suicidal statements due to this situation. One morning she woke up completely healed. My father told me later, in my teens, that she called her practitioner (prayer mentor) to tell her she was healed. The person who answered the phone told her that her practitioner had died the night before. My mother did not confirm nor deny this to me. However, I saw her lead tours through the trains at the Museum of Transport in St. Louis county for 9 years, and work more than one 24 hour shift at a nursing home when snow prevented driving. She was able to care for her sister, Mary, for several years with no assistance as well.

In early 2013 I was based in the St. Louis area due to a position I had with the state which I honestly loved. However, I continually felt desperate to get back to Neosho, where my mom and children were. I prayed constantly for a solution to this. I did not know, nor did my children, that she had broken her only usable arm. I came back for a visit and knew I could not leave her. As I entered the house, her cat scratched her out of fear as mattresses were being moved in and out. After a few days I told her I had to take her to the doctor, as I knew she was dealing with sepsis. She finally agreed to “shut me up” They told her she would die if not immediately provided IV antibiotics. She said no, she was going to her granddaughter’s viola concert, changed in the car and did exactly that. She agreed to a z-pack which is pretty limited considering her situation. We sat in the living room for a couple weeks and she read her textbooks during all waking hours. Her breathing improved, her oxygen went up and all aspects of her infection subsided. She went to her follow-up appointment, and staff came out of the woodwork to see her and call her a miracle. They gave her a new walker and were wide-eyed. She was taken off hospice and home health and we had another five years together, with many trips to the library, videos on youtube, and discussions.

In 2015, my mom started a small business, facilitating training. She was a teacher and I was a trainer, so we had some potential. She became a vendor for the state of Missouri, and I set up training jobs close to home. We were blessed by a contract in Hawaii. I tried to get advice from an administrative assistant I knew, but it was not helpful. I told my mom I would have to work it out. I told them I could not go as I was her caretaker, but my cousin encouraged us, so we continued looking into the option. They told me to write a proposal including her. She was able to accompany me to Oahu three times in the past two years where I was able to do my best to help the operators there pass their wastewater certification exams. After the first trip, she began showering again. She had many chocolate shakes, which was her favorite. We just returned from the last trip the end of February. Mom was able to get in the pool with a lift they had and enjoyed that a couple times. She also read a 1000 page book by Barbara Walters (All except the parts about murderers) and a book by Deepak Chopra which she enjoyed very much. In the fall of 2017 I scheduled 5 full day classes back to back. She came of course, all across the state, even attending class at times with our tiny dog. My mom was a vision of grace and strength. She was a trooper through what most handicapped people would fear, but I am proud of her for her fortitude. If it was fake, she faked it well. I think she was just a very strong lady.

Services for Margaret V. Hukill will be on Friday, April 20, 2018 at 1:00 PM at Clark Funeral Home in Neosho. Pastor Buddy Funk from the Fellowship Baptist Church will be presenting the Eulogy. Margaret had donated books to him in the past and had a great respect for his enthusiasm and work with children. Her previous pick was Tom Thorne, but he passed before her. I am most grateful for Buddy being willing to assist at this time!

Margaret was handicapped, but a real trooper! She was always thankful, generous, and full of grace. She enjoyed writing (when able), reading, videos dealing with various topics including history and astronomy and nature. She was a devoted Christian Scientist and continually tried to raise her thought consciousness above that with which we are presented in this incarnation. She always looked for the silver lining in even the worse situations. Her ability to be filled with grace despite what she was dealing with has been an inspiration to many others. She cared deeply for animals and young people, and chose to go before the city council with her walker after getting off Hospice, in Neosho, MO in 2014 to ask for water, shelter and bathroom facilities for the youth who access the skate park. She had two rows of teens sitting behind her, and donated her last donation to a charity of $100 at that time. Therefore, in lieu of flowers, the family has requested that contributions in memory of Margaret V. Hukill be made to the Neosho Skate Park Fund or Faithful Friends Animal Shelter, c/o Clark Funeral Home, PO Box 66, Neosho, MO 64850. (Both charities are available elsewhere. Neosho City Hall has the skatepark fund, and Faithful Friends is also in Neosho.)

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