Pam DeMier

(From Gorman-Scharpf Funeral Home)

Dr. Suzanne Pamela “Pam” (Haynes) DeMier departed this life for the next on February 18, 2026. She had been hospitalized earlier in the month after a stroke. She passed away peacefully in the hospital with her daughter, Tonya Claiborne, at her side.

Pam was born in Joplin, Missouri on May 19, 1946, to parents Julienne and Clarence “C.C.” Haynes. She was preceded in death by her parents, her former husband Thomas Edwin DeMier, and dear friend James Michael Garrigan. She is survived by her daughter, Tonya; her partner, Kurt Naegler, Jr; and several dear friends including Jennifer Roberts, Jamie Dedmon, and Sharon Arnold.

A memorial service will be held at Gorman-Scharpf Funeral Home, 1947 E. Seminole St., Springfield, MO 65804 on March 7th, 2026 at 2 PM. In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that a donation be made to Watching Over Whiskers, 3014 E. Sunshine St., Springfield, MO 65804, watchingoverwhiskers.org

Dr. DeMier, Pam, or “Dr. Pam” was known for her brilliant intellect, sharp wit, tender heart, love of animals, and love of Christ. She excelled in school from a very early age. She was a voracious reader throughout her life. In grammar school and junior high, she would often devour literature well above the average reading level for her age and grade. In her days at Joplin High School, she was a star in theater and debate. She would often achieve accolades in debate tournaments and starring roles on stage. She aspired to be an actress in those days and later performed at the Joplin Little Theater. Her roles included that of a blind heroine in “Wait Until Dark.” A review described her performance as “sensitive and highly authentic.”

Most teenagers in the late fifties and early sixties fell in love with Rock ‘n’ Roll. But Pam and her friends, Sharon Arnold and Mike Garrigan, were especially knowledgeable on the subject. They competed quite successfully with each other and other listeners to call in and identify the tunes on the radio.

Shortly after graduating high school, Pam married Thomas Edwin DeMier. The young couple was soon to have a child. Pam loved being a mother and Tonya reflects that this was obvious from her early memories, all of which were happy. Tonya took joy in learning to make daisy chains and listening to her mother’s bedtime stories with her own dramatic interpretations. The occasional baby sitter disappointed Tonya when they didn’t “read it like Mommy does.” There were store bought Halloween costumes in those days, but Tonya’s were always hand crafted with Pam’s sewing skills.

Pam and her husband, Tom, fell in love at an early age. But as sometimes happens, they grew apart and split ways. They maintained a friendship and respect for each other throughout their lives.

While Pam loved home and family, she was also continually drawn to challenge and expand her gifted mind in an age when young women weren’t often encouraged to do so. While continuing her education, Pam supported herself and her child through various jobs. She delved into several fields of occupation and study before she settled on psychology and achieved the degree of Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Forest Institute of Professional Psychology. 

She specialized in neuropsychology and worked at Cox Hospital in adult and senior in-patient psychology. Dr. Pam DeMier was recognized and appreciated by her peers and as a skilled clinician who could offer solid diagnostic testing. Dr. DeMier was equally talented in providing compassionate and insightful individual and group therapy to best give her patients the tools to get back on their feet after an especially rough period in their lives.

When confronted with the challenges and pressures associated with a for profit healthcare industry, Dr. DeMier always practiced with the utmost integrity and always placed patient care above all else.

Pam always had a love for people, but also a tender heart for animals. She had a menagerie of cats, dogs, and horses throughout her life. She compared herself to Ellie May Clampett with all of her critters. As a child, Pam had longed to learn to ride horses. When a teenaged Tonya expressed an interest in doing just that, she instantly invested in riding lessons for Tonya and eventually a show horse. She took vicarious joy in her daughter having fun and success in the horse show world. When Tonya became an adult and moved on to other interests, Pam decided to learn to ride. Over the years she rode and owned several world champion fox trotters. Again, her warm heart made her a lot of friends in the horse world, including Jamie Dedmon and Jennifer Roberts.

Pam spent her last 40 years with partner, Kurt Naelgler, Jr., as they loved and supported each other from midlife into old age.

Tonya remembers and is so grateful for her mother’s love and support throughout her life. But up until Tonya was 54, her mother knew Tonya as her son and by a different name. Tonya will be forever grateful for the love and acceptance that her mother offered in that moment. This was no different than the love and support she had received every day of her life. As a mother, Pam only ever wanted her child to be happy. And Pam and Tonya bonded even more in their newfound relationship as mother and daughter.

Pam had always led an active life and up until almost a year ago, she was still cleaning her horse’s stalls. As her health declined, she missed the active life she had led. While those who love her will miss her greatly, we are so grateful to have had her in our lives and we know through her faith in Christ that she is free of the burdens of this life and has moved on to a better one.